我妈妈83年左右的样子。这就解释了我为什么是最不酷的人

我妈妈大约83年的样子。这就解释了为什么我是世界上最土气的人，因为她把所有酷劲都占光了！哦，还有那辆自行车？是她自己组装的。

114,072 赞 · 2020-03-31 · 122 条评论

[已删除]5,177 赞2020/3/31

I assume she is still the coolest 50-60 year old in town?

我猜她现在依然是城里最酷的五六十岁的人吧？

always-aimee4,267 赞2020/3/31

Sadly I think I mellowed her out a bit but she's still pretty awesome.

遗憾的是，我觉得我多少让她变得稳重了一些，但她依然超赞。

poopellar2,805 赞2020/4/1

She's just acting mellow when you're around. Otherwise she's terrorizing punks around town.

她那是在你面前装稳重呢。不然的话，她现在估计还在城里收拾那些小混混呢。

starstarstar421,598 赞2020/4/1

By day she's grammie: cooking up meals for your family. At night she's the Nannanator: taking down thugs, making your city safer.

白天她是慈祥奶奶：在家给全家人做顿热乎饭。到了晚上她就是“南南终结者”：收拾那些暴徒，让你所在的城市更安全。

cyrusasu444 赞2020/4/1

CW *write that down! write that down!*

CW（CW电视台）*赶紧记下来！快把这记下来！*

eatshitdouchebag220 赞2020/4/1

How are they gonna get marisa tomei to play the grandmother though?

不过他们到底要怎么请到玛丽莎·托梅来演这个奶奶啊？

Every3Years125 赞2020/4/1

She can play my grandmother any day

她随时都可以来演我奶奶。

yupnotreal116 赞2020/4/1

Quick break your arms

快去把你的胳膊折断吧。

Ophukk87 赞2020/4/1

Is this joke so old that the mom is now a gramma? I feel I've been here too long.

这个梗是不是老到那个妈现在都变奶奶了？我感觉我在这儿待太久了。

[已删除]16 赞2020/4/1

Nah dude, she'd need to be the *mother* for that

不行啊哥们，那她得是那个“妈”才行。

TransformerTanooki15 赞2020/4/1

Nothing wrong with a multi generational orgy.

多代同堂群交也没啥毛病啊。

atreyukun59 赞2020/4/1

My mom used to be a major hippie back in the day. Now she’s grandma. At least she’s still into Neil Young and Janis.

我妈当年可是个纯正的嬉皮士。现在她已经当奶奶了。好歹她还是喜欢尼尔·杨和贾尼斯那口子。

gntrr122 赞2020/4/1

I'd love to see a recreation of this photo today! lol

真想看看这张照片现在的复刻版！哈哈哈

catzhoek44 赞2020/4/1

Cool birthday idea. keep that in mind for her next round birthday or so. Usually you don't pull that kind of activity without being dragged into it at 50+. Mums are seldomly the center of attention anymore. I'm sure she would love a day full of unusual things to do and being the star on the set. The most difficult bit is probably finding a decently similar bike, unless you live on another continent or so. Alternatively recreate it with yourself as the model, that will hit a total other set of emotions.

这生日点子太酷了。下次她过整岁生日什么的可以考虑一下。通常过了50岁，如果不是被硬拽着，谁会去折腾这些啊。妈妈们很少再成为焦点了。我相信她一定会喜欢这种充满新鲜体验、自己当主角的一天。最难的估计就是找一辆足够像的自行车了，除非你们住得特别远或者怎么样。或者干脆你自己当模特重拍一次，那绝对会带来完全不同的情感冲击。

MonsieurSaboteur31 赞2020/4/1

Did she tell you any crazy biker stories?

她有没有跟你讲过什么疯狂的骑行往事？

RankInsubordination112 赞2020/4/1

Damn, OP, that's a hardtail with straight pipes. o_0 No lightweights riding that bike. Zero.

我去，楼主，你这车简直就是个装了直排管的硬尾车啊。o_0 骑这玩意儿的肯定没一个是怂包。一个都没有。

vaalthanis38 赞2020/4/1

Straight fuckin truth there

说得简直是句大实话。

RankInsubordination47 赞2020/4/1

Put it this way, it makes my lower back hurt to *look* at that as I think about riding. I'll stick to my stock Scout 60. But for an old Yamanuts, that's an eye-catcher.

这么说吧，光是看着它我就开始想骑行时的感觉，腰已经隐隐作痛了。我还是老老实实骑我的原厂 Scout 60 吧。不过对于一辆老山叶（Yamanuts）来说，这车确实挺吸睛的。

always-aimee51 赞2020/4/1

She said she's fine, no back problems lol.

她说她没事，完全没伤到背，笑死。

Te_Quiero_Puta29 赞2020/4/1

That is the best looking leather jacket I’ve ever seen. Does she remember what brand it was? I have some vintage hunting to do.

这件皮衣简直是我见过最好看的一件。她还记得是什么牌子的吗？我得去淘淘这种复古货了。

MarshallStack66626 赞2020/4/1

Yep, Badass woman. OP is lucky she didn't get traded for a carburetor or something.

没错，这姐们儿太飒了。楼主真是走运，没被拿去换个化油器什么的。

[已删除]45 赞2020/4/1

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[已删除]19 赞2020/4/1

We all mellow out as we get older. haha

人年纪大了心态都会变平和。哈哈

entotheenth28 赞2020/4/1

I swapped sports bikes for cruisers at 59 cause they don't make my elbows hurt. Apart from that, fuck you, lol.

我59岁的时候把跑车换成了巡航车，因为跑车骑着手肘太疼。除此之外，去你的吧，哈哈。

[已删除]71 赞2020/4/1

True words! I'm 42. Play in a rock band. In my 20s, I'd drink my face off at gigs, party with the other bands and random folks after the shows til 6am... Now I show up to soundcheck, find a place for some food in the town I'm in. Have a beer or 2 to "loosen up" before the show, play the show, pack up my drums and go home. Still always a fun time, but I've definitely mellowed with age. You can't party like a rock star forever. Hangovers hurt too much now and steal away *multiple* days.

说得太对了！我今年42岁，在摇滚乐队里打鼓。20多岁那会儿，演出时我会喝得烂醉，演出结束后还要跟其他乐队的人还有各路陌生人狂欢到凌晨6点…… 现在呢，我到场调完音，就去找个地方吃顿好的。演出前喝上一两杯啤酒“放松一下”，演完就收起鼓回家了。虽然现在依然玩得很开心，但我确实随着年龄增长变佛系了。你不可能永远像个摇滚巨星那样没完没了地狂欢。现在宿醉的劲儿太难受了，简直能毁掉我好几天。

[已删除]26 赞2020/4/1

I enjoy day drinking with friends on weekends now because I know i'll be home early. I remember the days of being up until 3am and ruining the whole next day. I get up so early now I can't even recall how I used to do it. haha

我现在很享受周末跟朋友白天喝点小酒，因为我知道自己能早点回家。我还记得以前那些通宵熬到凌晨3点，然后把第二天整个人都废掉的日子。我现在起得太早了，简直想不通以前是怎么做到的，哈哈。

Rockstar8126 赞2020/4/1

My mom was totally bad ass back in the day. Now she is in her 60's. Though she has mellowed a lot, once in a while she lets loose or goes off on someone because she feels the need to stick up for the little guy and you see her old self shine through. She says she feels better in her 60's than she did in her 40's and still rocks "my little pony hair". But she is also the one who takes care of everyone and is often called "the nicest woman". My kids were shocked when I told them a story about Grandma pinning my stalker up against a wall with her car. Or how she disarmed a robber in the 90's. They plan out getting tattoos together when the girls are old enough. Mom said "why not add to the collection?" Moral of the story, your mom still has some wild in there. She just keeps it hidden away most of the time.

我妈年轻那会儿简直是个狠角色。现在她60多岁了，虽然人温和了不少，但偶尔还是会放飞自我，或者为了打抱不平跟人杠上，那时候你就能看到她当年的风采。她说她现在60多岁的状态比40岁时还要好，而且还留着一头“小马宝莉色”的头发。但同时，她也是那个把每个人都照顾得妥妥帖帖的人，大家都管她叫“最善良的女人”。当我给孩子们讲起奶奶当年开车把骚扰我的人顶在墙上，或者她在90年代空手缴械劫匪的故事时，他们都惊呆了。她们打算等孙女们再大点儿就一起去纹身，我妈当时就说：“干嘛不给这一身纹身再添点儿新花样呢？” 这故事的道理就是：你妈身体里其实还藏着野性呢，只是平时藏起来了而已。

blue-leeder20 赞2020/4/1

What’s she look like now?

她现在长什么样？

tommyrulz12,475 赞2020/3/31

Think she stole my lunch money. 😳

感觉她把我的午饭钱都抢走了。😳

Brett-Hal-JonesUS76706 赞2020/3/31

She's so badass she bullied the bullies. Definitely the coolest cat at her school.

她简直酷毙了，连恶霸都怕她。绝对是她们学校最拽的那个。

GooseandMaverick103 赞2020/4/1

She's the Fonz... AYYYYY

她简直就是方兹（Fonz）本尊……耶——！

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LogicalLogistics21 赞2020/4/1

She didn't actually build that bike, just slapped some scrap metal and it spontaneously became so.

她其实根本没亲手造那辆车，不过是把些破铜烂铁拼凑在一起，结果它就奇迹般地成型了。

poopellar87 赞2020/4/1

I just gave it to her, I know my place.

我只是把它交给了她，我知道我几斤几两。

Bribase17 赞2020/4/1

And my heart.

还有我的心。

always-aimee1,360 赞2020/3/31

Forgot to mention this pic comes from BSH Magazine, issue 3 I think.

忘了提一下，这张图出自《BSH Magazine》，我记得应该是第3期。

onehunglow777271 赞2020/3/31

BSH?

elendegeneres502 赞2020/3/31

Back Street Heroes

Back Street Heroes（街头英雄）

starstarstar42748 赞2020/4/1

<wipes sweat from forehead> Phew, that was close.

<抹了把额头上的汗> 呼，好险。

TheTayzer250 赞2020/4/1

right? my mind automatically blocked out the "er", at first.

对吧？我一开始脑子自动就把那个“er”给过滤掉了。

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bborttam50 赞2020/4/1

Not all hoes wear capes.

并不是所有的荡妇都穿披风。（注：此句为对“Not all heroes wear capes”这一梗的恶搞。）

RhyRhylar26 赞2020/4/1

Not all hoes wear panties either.

也不是所有的荡妇都穿内裤。

LtLwormonabigfknhook40 赞2020/4/1

What were you guys thinking? Just so I get the joke. Edit: omg...its spelled out in the comment I replied to. I fail.

你们这帮人到底在想什么啊？我只是想弄懂这个梗。编辑：天呐……我回复的那条评论里明明都写得清清楚楚的。我真是个废物。

Tennybrio104 赞2020/4/1

Back Street "Garden Tool"

后街“园艺工具”

Notagingerman38 赞2020/4/1

HOE

[已删除]92 赞2020/4/1

Boy She's Hot Magazine

男孩她很辣杂志

imfromduval17 赞2020/3/31

Back street heros is what google is telling me

谷歌跟我说这叫“后街英雄”。

[已删除]18 赞2020/4/1

Turn off safe mode

把安全模式关了。

Vann7780 赞2020/4/1

Back Street Hoes. What? *hides magazine under sofa*

后街荡妇（Back Street Hoes）。啊？ *把杂志往沙发底下塞*

onehunglow77718 赞2020/4/1

I seriously was thinking Bad Street Hoes.

我真心以为这说的是《Bad Street Hoes》（烂街荡妇）。

[已删除]563 赞2020/4/1

I'm usually pretty critical of when people post pics of their parents here, because their parents were usually not cool. They were just dressed and acting normal for the time. Your mom was fucking cool.

我通常对这儿发父母照片的人挺挑剔的，因为他们的父母往往也就那样，没啥酷的。他们不过是穿了当时普通的衣服，做了当时普通的事儿罢了。你妈是真他妈酷。

badhangups51 赞2020/4/1

Spot on.

sameljota31 赞2020/4/1

Yeah this sub is usually disappointing. It's usually just old school.

没错，这版块平时确实挺让人失望的。基本上也就是些老派玩意儿而已。

i-hear-banjos19 赞2020/4/1

Mostly just old.

基本就是老了。

ResponsibleAccident392 赞2020/4/1

This is probably the most appropriate time to say this, but in my best Johnny bravo impression. "Woah Momma", she's a badass my dude.

感觉现在说这话最合适不过了，模仿一下强尼·布拉沃（Johnny Bravo）的语气：“哇哦，辣妈！” 哥们儿，她简直酷毙了。

GonzoBalls6952 赞2020/4/1

That was a really good johnny bravo impression

你那段强尼·布拉沃的模仿秀确实绝了。

Zomburai26 赞2020/4/1

I've been working on mine. What do you guys think? "Woah, Momma"

我一直在捣鼓我自己的这辆。你们觉得怎么样？ “哇塞，妈妈咪呀！”

ResponsibleAccident322 赞2020/4/1

You gotta clear your throat a little more bro

兄弟，你得再清清嗓子（再练练/润色一下）。

SeeMeAssfuckingUrDad17 赞2020/4/1

Dude, do you know how to build bikes too? If not you should learn from her. That's amazing. Making your own custom bikes, you can even build them for other people and make big bucks. I wish I knew someone or some place where I could learn.

哥们，你还会组装自行车啊？要是不行的话，你该跟她学学。这太牛了。自己动手做定制自行车，你甚至可以帮别人组装，赚大钱。我要是能认识什么人或者知道什么地方能学这个就好了。

[已删除]29 赞2020/4/1

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ItIsWhatItIs141,138 赞2020/3/31

Is your mom single? Asking for myself

你妈单身吗？替我自己问的。

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joedoe2383 赞2020/4/1

I get this reference!

我懂这个梗！

onestrangetruth44 赞2020/4/1

I get **this** reference!

我懂**这个**梗！

pktkp44 赞2020/4/1

Shutthefuckupstopmakingthisstupidjokeweveallseentheavengersffs

给老子闭嘴吧，别再讲这种烂梗了，复仇者联盟我们早就看腻了，求你了行吗。

ItIsWhatItIs1433 赞2020/4/1

I didn’t get it, I had to google it. I’m embarrassed :(

我没懂啥意思，还专门去谷歌搜了下。真尴尬 :(

pktkp19 赞2020/4/1

Well now I feel bad

完了，现在我感觉挺内疚的。

MakeEveryBonerCount50 赞2020/4/1

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Tweed_Kills905 赞2020/4/1

Your mom looks like she should be in the Velvet Underground instead of Nico.

你妈看起来简直该去 Velvet Underground 乐队，而不仅是像 Nico 那样。

CruellaDeMille126 赞2020/4/1

I was thinking Runaways.

我倒是觉得她更有 Runaways 乐队那种范儿。

rageingnonsense17 赞2020/4/1

100% this. I have Cherry Bomb stuck in my head.

绝对赞同。我现在脑子里一直循环播放《Cherry Bomb》这首歌。

KimberStormer48 赞2020/4/1

Let's compromise and put her in instead of Sterling Morrison. Nobody knows what that dude does in the band anyway.

咱们各退一步，把她放进去替掉 Sterling Morrison 吧。反正也没人知道那哥们儿在乐队里到底干啥。

BenderIsGreatBendr25 赞2020/4/1

Lou Reed was the great songwriter, but Sterling was the better guitarist.

Lou Reed 确实是伟大的词曲作者，但 Sterling 才是更好的吉他手。

Rothko2833 赞2020/4/1

Literally listening to the Velvet Underground as I read this.

读到这条的时候我正好在听地下丝绒乐队（Velvet Underground）。

Vaux191620 赞2020/4/1

Clearly she's waiting for her man.

很明显，她在等她男人呢。

[已删除]614 赞2020/3/31

Giving me sarah connor vibes

有点莎拉·康纳那味儿了。

applesauceyes259 赞2020/4/1

She looks like a main character for sure. I'm a quest giver, at best. Fuck.

她看起来绝对是主角那种级别的。我顶多算个发任务的NPC。真特么操蛋。

odd_man117 赞2020/4/1

At least you have a purpose, I’m an NPC wandering around aimlessly. I glitch from time to time and miss my right turn...but that’s all I really have.

至少你还有个目标，我就是个漫无目的到处乱逛的NPC。我时不时还会卡个BUG，错过该转弯的路口……但这真就是我的全部人生了。

BaronVonNumbaKruncha40 赞2020/4/1

Own that glitch man. It defines you!

拥抱那个BUG吧，兄弟。那才是你个性的体现！

Every3Years36 赞2020/4/1

Thanks, Ralph.

谢了，拉尔夫。

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PMme_bobs_n_vagene33 赞2020/4/1

I was gonna say Donna from That 70s Show.

我本来想说是《70年代秀》里的唐娜。

always-aimee344 赞2020/4/1

Although she looks hard as nails, she said she was putting it on for the camera lol. Really she is the kindest, strongest, and best woman I know. Proud to call her mum.

虽然她看起来一副不好惹的样子，但她说那是为了在镜头前摆拍啦，哈哈哈。其实她是位最善良、最坚强、也是我认识最棒的女人。能叫她一声妈，我真自豪。

prettyragdoll23 赞2020/4/1

How old was she in this pic? Maybe I still have a chance at becoming this cool, lol.

她这张照片里多大啊？也许我还有机会变得像她这么酷，哈哈哈。

cliffwich313 赞2020/3/31

TIL Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton had another sister.

今儿刚学到，原来西格妮·韦弗和琳达·汉密尔顿还有个姐妹。

AEW_SuperFan121 赞2020/3/31

I thought more young Jodie Foster.

我倒是觉得更像年轻时候的朱迪·福斯特。

jonjawnjahnsss30 赞2020/4/1

I was thinking very Milla Jovovich with long hair

我脑子里冒出来的第一人称是留长发的米拉·乔沃维奇。

unclelimpy27 赞2020/4/1

If she and Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70s Show) had a child.

如果她和劳拉·普莱潘（《70年代秀》里的唐娜）生了个娃，大概就长这样。

[已删除]262 赞2020/3/31

Yep. This pic oozes cool.

可不嘛。这张照片简直酷毙了。

01dSAD40 赞2020/4/1

I have an old pic of me with my store bought bicycle. The streamers sent a shockwave of fear and envy through the schoolyard.

我那儿有张旧照，拍的是我和我买来的那辆自行车。车把上挂的那些彩带，当时在学校操场上简直掀起了一阵又羡慕又嫉妒的狂潮。

SeeMeAssfuckingUrDad18 赞2020/4/1

Did you also do that putting a playing card in the wheel thing so that when you ride, the spokes whack it making a sound

你小时候也干过那种往车轮里塞扑克牌的事儿吗？就是骑车的时候，辐条打在牌上会发出那种“啪嗒啪嗒”的声音。

01dSAD15 赞2020/4/1

~~I prided myself on my whacking sounds~~   Edit: Yes, yes I did

~~我当时还挺以此为傲的，那声音简直绝了~~   编辑：没错，没错，我干过。

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AnakinAmidala39 赞2020/4/1

Lol the gang would steal it from her and trash it somehow

哈哈，那帮死党肯定会把它从她那儿抢过来，然后没一会儿就给弄得稀烂。

Mr___Roboto19 赞2020/4/1

To jump off from a bridge, thinking it will bring publicity to Paddy's

从桥上跳下去，还以为这能给Paddy's酒吧打响名号呢。

CageyLabRat161 赞2020/3/31

"Mom I'm going to the gamestore. They've got a _wicked_ setting for 5E DnD!" "Yeah kiddo, great... Listen, how about a toke, huh? Hey maybe I can teach you this trick with a butterfly knife, mess up a dude _bad_..." "LOL mom don't be boooriiiinggg..."

“妈，我去趟游戏店。他们那儿有个超级带感的5E跑团局！” “是吗，孩子，真棒……听着，要不咱们来一口？哎，说不定我还能教你怎么玩蝴蝶刀，能把那帮家伙搞得特别惨……” “哈哈哈妈你别那么无聊好不好……”

McBratwurstRDT140 赞2020/4/1

The fact that you exist tells me some guy had the guts to talk to her. It also tells me you're the child of a very brave man!

你能活在这个世上，就说明当初有个男人真的有胆量去搭讪她。这也说明，你绝对是一个勇士的后代！

nosubsnoprefs57 赞2020/4/1

Unless she did what my wife did, and told me in no uncertain terms that I was her man.

除非她像我老婆那样，毫不含糊地跟我挑明了，说老子就是她的人。

deepfriedparsley21 赞2020/4/1

Nicely done!

干得漂亮！

SkiDynastar91 赞2020/4/1

Sure that’s not from the 70’s? Cause that’s what I picture the real Donna to look like!!!

你确定这玩意儿不是70年代的？因为这跟我心目中真正的唐娜长得一模一样！！！

ezeman128 赞2020/4/1

Idk kinda reminds me of the punk chick that almost gets Hyde to more to New York

不知道，这让我想起了那个差点把海德（Hyde）拐去纽约的朋克妞。

Bluto5863 赞2020/4/1

Yamaha 750 two cylinder. I had the stock bike that that engine came in. Know it well. You either got a good engine or a mess of one. I had to keep up on the valves BIG time to make sure it didn’t turn into a mess of one. Ran smooth when it was happy.

这是雅马哈 750 双缸发动机。当年装这引擎的原装摩托我骑过，熟得很。这玩意儿要么好用得要命，要么就是堆烂摊子。为了不让它变成那堆烂摊子，我得死磕着去调气门。只要状态对路，跑起来顺滑得很。

[已删除]26 赞2020/4/1

Its a 1977-1981 xs400. I own two of them

这是 1977 到 1981 年产的 XS400，我自己就有两辆。

KSpete42419 赞2020/4/1

I think it's a 650 Twin.

我觉得这是台 650 双缸的。

[已删除]58 赞2020/4/1

Your Mother looks like she's made of metal! Tell her hello and happy mother's day for all of us here in the reddit world.💐🌷🌺

你妈看起来像是金属做的啊！代我们 Reddit 上的大伙儿给她问个好，顺便祝她母亲节快乐。💐🌷🌺

GoodToby28 赞2020/4/1

You can't just say that and freak everyone out for being bad children

你不能随口就来这一出，把大家都吓坏了，搞得好像我们都是不孝子似的。

cloud9ineteen16 赞2020/4/1

Looks like you fast-forwarded out of social distancing.

看来你是开了倍速，直接跳过了社交隔离期啊。

HalobenderFWT45 赞2020/4/1

God damn. You peaked before you were even conceived!

卧槽。你还没出生就已经达到人生巅峰了啊！

AskAboutMyCoffee43 赞2020/3/31

Have you fully appreciated all of her stories? I hope so. If not Ill act as your stand in you ungrateful little shit.

你有没有好好品味过她所有的故事？我希望你有。要是没看过，我就替你代劳了，你这个不知好歹的小混蛋。

MultiversalTraveler32 赞2020/4/1

This is a weird comment

这评论怪怪的。

Onslow8531 赞2020/4/1

Tell your mum I enjoyed her acting in the silence of the lambs.

代我跟你妈说一声，我很喜欢她在《沉默的羔羊》里的演技。

Prisondawg26 赞2020/4/1

Looks like a 1980 Yamaha Xs400.

看起来像是 1980 年的雅马哈 XS400。

uhtred7320 赞2020/4/1

Tough act to follow!

这谁顶得住啊！

always-aimee46 赞2020/4/1

In all honesty, I didn't try lol.

说实话，我根本没想过要比。笑死。

miba13 赞2020/4/1

she looks like someone who had a couple of drinks with motörhead and girlschool

她看起来就像那种跟“摩托头”（Motörhead）和“女子学校”（Girlschool）乐队一起喝过几杯酒的人。

always-aimee23 赞2020/4/1

No, that was my dad

不，那是我们要我爸。

[已删除]13 赞2020/4/1

"I'm here to kick ass and build bikes, and I'm all out of parts." ~OP's mom, 1983~

“我来这儿就是为了大干一场和组装摩托车的，结果零件全用光了。” ~楼主老妈，1983年~

rocket80812 赞2020/4/1

Did your mom also play bass for Sonic Youth?

你妈以前还给音速青年（Sonic Youth）弹过贝斯吗？

CompZombie11 赞2020/4/1

I really loved it when she led the Bad News Bears to the championship game.

我真的超爱她带队那帮“坏消息熊”打进冠军赛的那一段。

Butticus1410 赞2020/3/31

Yup. Your mom is a bad ass.

可不嘛。你妈简直帅炸了。

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我妈妈83年左右的样子。这就解释了我为什么是最不酷的人

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