我叔叔在后院种大麻被抓了。大约1970年代
我叔叔在后院种大麻被抓包。大约是 1970 年代。
评论 (178)
[已删除]24,776 赞2017/12/12
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davidlynchimdb8,124 赞2017/12/12
Corsage is a bit flashy but I think the brown uniform coordinates well with it
胸花稍微有点扎眼，但我觉得配上那身棕色制服还是挺协调的。
why_rob_y2,777 赞2017/12/12
Earth tones.
大地色系。
Ca1iforniaCat1,099 赞2017/12/12
Very in, in the 70s
70年代那会儿超级流行。
GiornaGuirne495 赞2017/12/12
Needs more avocado green and harvest gold. **EDIT:** YES, I get it! Acapulco Gold is a strain of marijuana. I got it the first time, didn't need 3 more people to make the same joke.
还需要多点牛油果绿和丰收金的配色。
**编辑：** 行行行，我懂了！Acapulco Gold 是某种大麻品种。我第一次就get到了，不需要再有三个人来开同一个玩笑了。
tavVproject89214 赞2017/12/12
alphalfa yellow
苜蓿黄
EtheriosPrime145 赞2017/12/12
Phthalo blue
酞菁蓝
[已删除]72 赞2017/12/12
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AnInsolentCog96 赞2017/12/12
2 words. BURNT. UMBER.
两个词。
烤糊了。
赭石色。
taaffe721 赞2017/12/12
GREATJON UMBER
大琼（GREATJON）
安博（UMBER）
mech41482 赞2017/12/12
Your comma placement made me smile.
你这逗号放的位置把我给逗乐了。
PATRIOTSRADIOSIGNALS31 赞2017/12/12
And browns and beiggggge...
还有棕色和米色色色色……
Carolinecruz99128 赞2017/12/12
Took me awhile
我琢磨了半天才看出来。
16,940 赞2017/12/12
That is the face of a man that regrets nothing
这表情一看就是个完全不带后悔的男人。
4,243 赞2017/12/12
well he didn't know he couldn't do that
哎，他哪知道这事儿不能干啊。
3,086 赞2017/12/12
"it's actually illegal ?? I thought it was just frowned upon "
“原来这是违法的吗？？我还以为只是大家会翻白眼而已。”
1,411 赞2017/12/12
like masturbating on an airplane?
就好比在飞机上打飞机一样？
3,955 赞2017/12/12
Weed whacking and high jacking
除草机（Weed whacking）和劫机（high jacking）。
906 赞2017/12/12
Underrated comment Edit: went from 6 upvotes to 300 in a few minutes...perhaps not so underrated afterall
被低估的评论。
编辑：几分钟内点赞数从6个涨到了300个……看来也没那么被低估了。
329 赞2017/12/12
Your comment made me re read. He got an upvote based on that. So you get one too.
你的评论让我回去重读了一遍。他因为这个（评论）捞到了一个赞。所以你也该得一个。
77 赞2017/12/12
YOU GET AND UPVOTE, AND YOU GET AN UPVOTE
你也点赞，你也点赞，大家通通点赞！
20 赞2017/12/12
Everybody get an upvote!!!
全都给爷点赞！！！
457 赞2017/12/12
Thats genius. Because he DID know he couldnt do that.
这招绝了。因为他确实心知肚明自己不能那么做。
663 赞2017/12/12
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221 赞2017/12/12
Close your butt cheeks, Dave!
戴夫，把你的屁股夹紧点！
59 赞2017/12/12
Good ol' chip
老伙计奇普（Chip）
517 赞2017/12/12
The cop looks more stoned than OP's uncle.
这警察看起来比楼主（OP）的叔叔嗑得还嗨。
82 赞2017/12/12
That cop was in every class I ever took.
那警察简直阴魂不散，我上过的每门课都有他。
27 赞2017/12/12
Haha, same here, he's worked at every job I've ever had, too.
哈哈，我也是，我干过的每份工作也都有他。
368 赞2017/12/12
Hijacking top comment with more information: This photo was taken in Huntington Beach, California and was taken in March-April of 1975. Supposedly his horticultural hobbies have since ended, however he does still smoke pot regularly. He lived in a tent in the backyard so that he could more easily tend to his herbs. The cops were there because my uncle got into a fist fight with his sisters boyfriend, and he called the police on my uncle because he knew that he was growing pot. Since they didn’t have a warrant for the weed they released him. When the police questioned my grandmother, in her best Edith Bunker voice she said, “I thought those were tomato plants!” He was taken to jail but he only spent a few hours there. He was never sentenced any time for this offense. In fact, the officer and my uncle became good friends after this. Unfortunately, the officer passed away from cancer about 10 years ago. I’m not sure about who took the photos, but my aunt told me there are many more photos from that night because the whole family requested to be in the pictures. This post has connected me with a side of my family that I never knew! The daughter of the man in question (my cousin, whom I’ve never met), contacted me after I posted this picture.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to see a 42 year old photo of your father randomly appear on Reddit by someone you’ve never met, but that’s what happened. Over the summer I plan on flying to California over the summer to meet my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins because of this post. Thanks Reddit!
借楼高亮一下，补充点信息：
这张照片拍于1975年的3月到4月间，地点在加州的亨廷顿海滩。据说是他后来不怎么搞园艺了，但他现在确实还在抽大麻。他当时住在后院的帐篷里，这样更方便他打理那些“草药”。
警察会来是因为我舅舅跟他姐姐的男朋友打了一架，那家伙知道我舅舅在种大麻，就报了警。因为警察没搜查令，搜不到大麻，所以就把我舅舅放了。警察审问我外婆时，她学着伊迪丝·邦克（Edith Bunker）那副腔调说：“我还以为那是番茄苗呢！”他后来被带去了警局，但只关了几个小时。他这事儿最后没判刑。说来也怪，这警察跟我舅舅后来还成了好哥们儿。遗憾的是，那警察大约10年前因癌症去世了。我不太确定是谁拍的照片，但我阿姨告诉我，那晚还拍了很多其他的照片，因为全家人都抢着要合影。
这篇帖子让我联系上了家族里我从未谋面的一支！照片里那人的女儿（我从未见过面的表亲）在我发了照片后联系了我。
简直不敢想象，看到一张42年前老爸的照片突然出现在Reddit上，还是个陌生人发的，这是一种什么感觉，但这事儿偏偏就发生了。
今年夏天我打算飞去加州见见我的阿姨、舅舅和表亲们，这多亏了这篇帖子。感谢Reddit！
15 赞2017/12/12
That's amazing. If i may ask, how is it that you've never met?
这太牛了。冒昧问一下，你们俩怎么会从来没见过面？
520 赞2017/12/12
He's smiling cuz that bush behind him is camoflauge, and its filled with bud. The cop thinks it was just the 1 decoy plant
他在偷笑是因为他身后的那丛灌木是伪装，里面全是大麻。那个警察还以为那儿就只有一棵诱饵植株呢。
234 赞2017/12/12
This here, folks, is a person who knows the fuckin deal
各位，这哥们儿才是真正的懂行，太特么内行了。
153 赞2017/12/12
The face of a man who had already harvested most of his crop BEFORE he was busted
这哥们儿被抓前就已经把大头（赃款/赃物）都给捞着了，看他这脸上的表情就知道了。
15,931 赞2017/12/12
Back when cops did arrest photo ops
想当年，警察还搞这种摆拍式的抓捕秀呢。
4,364 赞2017/12/12
Huh, so I guess their pre arrest hobby has changed a bit since
哈，看来他们被抓之前的消遣活动，从那时候起倒是变了不少啊。
3,649 赞2017/12/12
Yeah now they pose with bongs and bags of weed they find and post it on their PD Facebook all proud like they just just prevented World War 3.
是啊，现在他们逮到几个水烟壶和几袋大麻就摆拍，还特自豪地发到警局的 Facebook 上，搞得好像他们刚阻止了第三次世界大战一样。
2,891 赞2017/12/12
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1,720 赞2017/12/12
>picture of a ziploc baggie of weed "STREET VALUE OF $3,000,000.00"
>一张塑料袋装大麻的照片
“黑市估值 3,000,000.00 美元”
1,529 赞2017/12/12
>"Local authorities say it's 'kush', a particularly powerful marijuana that's the strength of 6,000 marijuanas"
>“当地警方称这是‘库什’（kush），一种劲儿特别大的大麻，药效相当于 6,000 单位的普通大麻。”
653 赞2017/12/12
In that case, I'll take 3 kushes, please.
那这样的话，给我来3份 Kush，谢了。
286 赞2017/12/12
Wow.. take it easy boy. You don't want to overdose.
哇……悠着点儿，哥们儿。你可不想嗑药过量吧。
123 赞2017/12/12
Maybe thats exactly what I want
也许这正是我想要的。
105 赞2017/12/12
I injected 3 kush's one ti
我一口气给自己扎了三针大麻。
126 赞2017/12/12
Drop the marijuanas
快把大麻都给我扔了。
237 赞2017/12/12
Did you just assume my plants botany?
你刚才这是在默认我植物的植物学分类吗？
810 赞2017/12/12
>That's right folks, it's true. Weed cost a lot of money these days. And the truth is, not a lot of people know where to get cocaine. You see, the thing about meth is that not only does it cause people to do the rapey things, PCP also makes people do the muggey things. That's what is so crazy about acid.
没错各位，千真万确。现在草（大麻）贵得很。而且说实话，没多少人知道哪儿能搞到可卡因。你看，冰毒这玩意儿不光让人生出那种强奸欲，PCP（天使粉）也让人生出那种抢劫的冲动。迷幻剂（LSD）就是这么疯狂。
435 赞2017/12/12
>***KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND! YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT!*** *You will not be able to see his eyes because of teashades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command -- including yours. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time, on him, will usually save nine, on you.*
***了解你的瘾君子！这可能关乎你的生死！*** 他戴着墨镜，你根本看不见他的眼睛，但他的指关节因为内心的紧张会泛白，而且他那裤子会沾满精液，因为他一找不到强奸对象就一直撸。你问他话的时候，他会摇摇晃晃，语无伦次。他根本不尊重你的警徽。瘾君子什么都不怕。他会攻击，毫无理由，动用他手头的一切武器——包括你的。任何抓捕疑似大麻瘾君子的警察都应该立即使用一切必要武力。及时对他采取一点措施，通常能省下你九条命。
176 赞2017/12/12
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40 赞2017/12/12
YOU ARE ALL ~~BALLS~~ TESTICLES AND NO SHAFT, ROBERT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SHAFT??
你们都他妈是空卵蛋，罗伯特！你的蛋蛋呢？？
336 赞2017/12/12
And the comments: "THANK JESUS FOR YOUR BRAVE SERVICE FOR KEEPING THESE THUGS OFF OUR STREETS!!1 ❤️️❤️️💋👮"
还有这些评论：“谢天谢地，感谢你们英勇的服务，把这帮流氓从我们的街道上清理出去！！1 ❤️️❤️️💋👮”
163 赞2017/12/12
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121 赞2017/12/12
> "Did anyone lose a pipe? Contact me if you want it back". - Officer NotACop
> “有人丢了烟斗吗？想要回来的话联系我”。 - 不是警察警官
26 赞2017/12/12
"how do you do fellow marihuana users" yours truly srgnt totaly not a cop Jack
“各位大麻使用者同僚们，你们好啊”，你忠诚的警官——绝对不是警察的杰克
28 赞2017/12/12
"Marihuana" is exactly how the cops that arrested me spelled it on their report.
“Marihuana”这种拼法，正是当年抓我的警察写进报告里的拼法。
79 赞2017/12/12
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71 赞2017/12/12
Streets aren't cheap you know.
你也知道，混街头可不容易，开销大着呢。
119 赞2017/12/12
Seized 2.5 billion dollars worth of hydroponic super weed saving the lives of countless children in the community.
缴获了价值25亿美刀的水培超强力大麻，这下可算拯救了社区里无数小孩的命了。
88 赞2017/12/12
Didn't you pay attention in History class? Hitler used Marijuana to kill the jews.
你历史课没认真听吗？希特勒是用大麻杀害犹太人的。
60 赞2017/12/12
They're just stoked because they get to personally keep the money and property, because civil forfeiture, and probably are going to go to the strip club and do coke to celebrate.
他们这会儿正爽呢，因为这笔钱和财产他们能直接揣进自己腰包——毕竟有“民事没收”这一套，他们估计正准备去脱衣舞俱乐部撒钱磕粉庆祝一番呢。
63 赞2017/12/12
I bought a pallet loaded with 6 1000 watt HPS ballasts, 4 light rails with motors, 4 XXXL hoods, and a bunch of other equipment at a police auction for 20 bucks. I paid cash, and loaded it into a friends pickup. I probably grew a couple of hundred grand worth of weed from that first batch of equipment. I always thought about the people who probably were in jail while I was making money from their equipment. It made me sad, but I felt like I was avenging them with my weed sales.
我曾在一次警方拍卖会上，花20块钱拍下了一整托盘的货，里面有6个1000瓦的高压钠灯镇流器、4套带电机的灯轨、4个超大号灯罩，还有一堆别的设备。我付了现金，然后装进朋友的皮卡车拉走了。靠着那批装备产出的第一茬大麻，我估计赚了小几十万。我总会想起那些人，我在用他们的设备赚钱时，他们可能正蹲在监狱里。这让我挺难受的，但我觉得自己靠卖大麻赚的钱，也算是替他们报仇了。
21 赞2017/12/12
The true hero we all deserve. Continue to spread the gospel good sir.
这才是我们都应得的真英雄。好样的，老兄，继续传经布道吧。
24 赞2017/12/12
Unfortunately all good things come to an end. I moved to Colorado, and had to rent because I couldn't afford a house here. So, I could grow a shit ton here because the wife and I qualify for a medical card, but no place to do it. I made about 3 lbs of cannabutter to take with me, so I don't have any fear of running out of that any time soon ;) It's frustrating too, because most of the dispensary weed is just a poorly grown version of everything I used to grow. A lot of them are buying seeds from Attitude online, and giving it a unique name. You can't fool me, I grew for 12 years, and tried just about every good strain Attitude had.
可惜天下没有不散的筵席。我搬到了科罗拉多州，因为买不起房只好租房住。所以说，虽然我和我老婆都有医疗用大麻许可，我在这儿想种多少种多少，但根本没地方种啊。我临走前做了大概3磅的大麻黄油带了过来，所以短时间内完全不用担心不够用 ;) 这事儿真让人窝火，因为大部分药店卖的草，品质远不如我以前自己种的。他们很多都是从Attitude网站上买的种子，然后随便换个名字挂出去。想忽悠我？没门儿，我种了12年，Attitude上那些好的品种我几乎全试过。
43 赞2017/12/12
Look citizens, we saved all of these hot pockets from being consumed! Only took 300 additional hours of OT pay!
听着，各位公民，我们成功拯救了这些热口袋，没让它们被吃掉！只不过多付了300小时的加班费而已！
83 赞2017/12/12
They prefer Simon Says nowadays.
他们现在更喜欢玩“西蒙说”那一套了。
53 赞2017/12/12
Simon didn't say crawl with your hands *up* mother fucker! *ratta tat tat tat*
西蒙可没说让你举着手爬，你个狗娘养的！*哒哒哒哒*（枪声）
265 赞2017/12/12
That smart ass grin on OP’s uncle’s face though. Gold that is.
不过楼主舅舅脸上那副欠揍的坏笑，真是绝了，简直是神来之笔。
734 赞2017/12/12
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270 赞2017/12/12
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303 赞2017/12/12
1977: Dang it Bob, you gotta stop with the weed growin'! This is the third time! Ok, ok, well come over for the picture then. 2017: IF YOU DON'T DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY, I WILL FUCKING KILL... <BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM>
1977年：该死，鲍勃，你别再种大麻了！这都第三回了！行吧行吧，那你过来拍张照吧。
2017年：你要是不按我说的做，老子他妈毙了你…… <砰砰砰砰>
98 赞2017/12/12
This a reference to that body cam video where he told him to crawl with his legs crossed and his hands up?
这指的是那个随身摄像机拍下的视频吗？就是那个警察叫他双腿交叉爬行，还得把手举起来的视频？
68 赞2017/12/12
yes, right down to the number of shots fired iirc
没错，如果我没记错的话，连开枪的次数都对得上。
509 赞2017/12/12
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36 赞2017/12/12
One of my first experiences with police as a child was my mom being pulled over while driving my infant brother to the hospital. He had whooping cough and was turning blue. I don't remember much because I was so young but it involved the cop making my mom wait while he wrote her ticket and lectured her about how to treat cops (she was screaming at him). He eventually let us go. No escort or anything for the woman getting her dying child to the hospital. Just lectures and tickets. Fortunately my brother ended up being okay. It was a frightening experience as a child. I try to defend police, I've interacted with some seemingly good ones, but most are at best extremely incompetent/unintelligent and at worse they actively use their power to fuck over citizens.
我小时候第一次跟警察打交道，是我妈开车送我刚出生的弟弟去医院时被拦了下来。我弟当时得了百日咳，脸都憋青了。因为当时太小，我不记得太多细节，但当时那个警察非让我妈等着，一边写罚单，一边还训斥我妈该怎么对待警察（因为我妈当时在对他尖叫）。最后他总算放我们走了。那个急着送垂死孩子去医院的女人，连个护送都没有。只有说教和罚单。幸运的是我弟弟最终没事。作为孩子，那是一段非常可怕的经历。
我试着去为警察辩护，我也接触过一些看起来还不错的警察，但大多数人往好里说就是极其无能/没脑子，往坏里说就是仗着权力去搞死普通百姓。
89 赞2017/12/12
Even later than that. 90's at the earliest. Hey guys, if you want to play soldier join the army. Careful though - the enemy really shoots back. Takes real balls instead of fake ones.
比那还要晚。最早也得是90年代了。嘿各位，想玩当兵游戏就去参军啊。不过得小心点——敌人可是真会开火的。那才需要真本事，而不是装出来的硬汉。
73 赞2017/12/12
yeah, i live in a college town that's beside a smaller rural town (10-15k people) that i grew up in - this picture is how i remember every cop looking while growing up. shift to about 5-10 years ago, when some apartment near mine was getting raided, and there's not one person there that looked like a cop. but there were at least 20 officers in full gea armor, masks (including skull bandannas over their faces), and full auto rifles. i felt way less safe around them than i did around a few dudes that were growing dope in their apartment.
是啊，我住在一个大学城旁边，隔壁就是我长大的那种小型农村镇子（人口1-1.5万）——这照片里警察的样子，就是我记忆中从小到大警察该有的样子。
画面切到大概5-10年前，我住的公寓附近有人被突袭搜查，现场没有一个人看起来像警察。但当时至少有20个全副武装的警员，戴着防弹背心、面罩（有些人脸上还戴着那种骷髅头面巾），手里拿着全自动步枪。
比起那几个在公寓里种大麻的家伙，我待在这些警察旁边时，反而觉得一点安全感都没有。
128 赞2017/12/12
Pretty sure SWAT has been around since the 60s, but it was for dealing with drug lords, not users.
我挺确定特警队（SWAT）从60年代就有了，但那时是用来对付毒枭的，不是去抓吸毒的小喽啰的。
162 赞2017/12/12
Not even that, people who barricaded themselves with hostages or people who were genuinely dangerous got the SWAT team back in those days. It wasn't until the 90s or 2000s that they started using them for routine police work.
不止如此，那时候只有碰上把人扣为人质的劫匪，或者那种极其危险的狠角色，才会出动特警。直到90年代或21世纪初，他们才开始被用来处理常规警务。
134 赞2017/12/12
You can draw a pretty big circle around the Columbine massacre for the exact dates that cops went from "show up, contain the crowds, wait for SWAT" to "If there are 4 of you, move in" a couple months later, to "If you are alone and you don't hear sirens, don't wait" which is the modus operandi now. Firefighters too. Used to be that fire fighters would wait for police to clear a building before they entered to put out a fire and pull out survivors. Problem is, training a police officer not to save someone is near impossible. So now when a police officer enters a building, they take along a firefighter, who attends to anyone they find suffering along the way, so the police officer can engage the criminals. Many fire crews now have their own bulletproof vests and helmets that they bring along in their truck. Things have certainly changed.
科伦拜恩高中枪击案算是个很明显的分水岭，在那之后，警察的战术彻底变了：最开始是“到达现场、疏散人群、原地等待特警”；几个月后变成了“凑够4个人就直接冲进去”；再到现在的标准操作规程是“如果你是单兵，又没听见警笛，那就别等了，直接上”。
消防员也是一样。以前消防员得等警察清空大楼后才进去灭火和搜救幸存者。问题是，想教会一个警察“别去救人”几乎是不可能的。所以现在警察进楼时会带上消防员，消防员负责照顾沿途发现的伤员，这样警察就能腾出手来去对付罪犯。现在很多消防队都有自己的防弹衣和头盔，放在消防车上随时待命。
这世道确实变了不少。
81 赞2017/12/12
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95 赞2017/12/12
Lowest crime rate since the mid 1960's. Can't convince people though. My wife says 'things aren't like when we were kid's. I tell her she's right - they're safer
犯罪率是自60年代中期以来最低的了。但就是说服不了大家。我老婆老说“现在的世道跟我们小时候不一样了”。我回她说确实不一样——现在安全多了。
10,317 赞2017/12/12
Smiling because he knows for a fact there are another 4 of those planted out back
他笑是因为他心里有数，后院里肯定还藏着另外4株呢。
512 赞2017/12/12
Smiling because the cop let’s him off the hook in exchange for the plant. Photo is taken for official reports. “Look boss! I arreseted him!”
他笑是因为警察拿了他的植株就放他一马。拍这张照是为了写官方报告。“看，老大！我把他逮着啦！”
104 赞2017/12/12
There's nothing of value on that plant, it hasn't flowered yet.
那株植物上根本没啥好东西，它还没开花呢。
5,661 赞2017/12/12
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889 赞2017/12/12
And now I am the fool
现在倒好，成我像个傻子了。
173 赞2017/12/12
oh hi mark
哦，嗨，马克。
130 赞2017/12/12
You are mankind being thrown off hell in a cell.
你简直就是从地狱铁笼里被扔出来的人类化身。
314 赞2017/12/12
You have made me unable to read the words “nineteen ninety eight” without feeling anxiety.
你搞得我现在一看到“一九九八”这几个字就焦虑发作。
100 赞2017/12/12
Ask your doctor for Valium. It's been treating anxiety since nineteen ninety eight.
去找医生开点安定吧。打从一九九八年起，它就一直管这毛病。
269 赞2017/12/12
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
圣诞快乐，你这肮脏的动物。
31 赞2017/12/12
And a happy new year.
新年也快乐。
208 赞2017/12/12
Unreal. Gotta reset my "days without getting shitty morphed" back to zero.
真是绝了。看来我那“没被搞出什么烂摊子”的天数又要重置归零了。
65 赞2017/12/12
Fuck man. I always want to know how these stories end.
靠，哥们儿。
我总想知道这些故事最后是怎么收场的。
149 赞2017/12/12
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771 赞2017/12/12
Not writing 1998 as a number... Oh God, it's learning EDIT: I apologize for spreading misinformation, he never does it as a number :( instead of being mad at me though, go be mad at Ajit Pai! EDIT 2: Okay I guess he used to write it as a number then changed it so I wasn't technically wrong just very late to the party... fortunately being technically correct and late to parties are two of my best (and most frustrating) skills EDIT 3: His comment is gone, why on earth are so many people downvoting me?
居然没把 1998 写成数字……
天呐，它进化了。
编辑：我为传播了虚假信息道歉，他从来没写成过数字 :( 不过与其生我的气，不如去骂 Ajit Pai 吧！
编辑 2：好吧，我猜他以前是写成数字的，后来改了，所以我也不算完全搞错，只是消息太滞后了……还好“技术上正确”和“迟到”是我最拿手（也最让人抓狂）的两项技能。
编辑 3：他的评论没了，到底为什么这么多人给我的评论点踩啊？
123 赞2017/12/12
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26 赞2017/12/12
Ik. Thought I was getting a quality 80’s story. But shittymorph reminded me life sucks a tad
我懂。本来以为能看到个高质量的 80 年代故事。结果 shittymorph 又让我意识到生活这破玩意儿确实挺操蛋的。
33 赞2017/12/12
Now if he'd just change that last bit to, "*who* plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table," it would be downright perfect.
要是他能把最后那点改一下，改成“……*是谁*从十六英尺高空摔穿了解说席”，那可就简直绝了。
42 赞2017/12/12
He always spelled it out...
他总能把话讲得明明白白……
29 赞2017/12/12
Dammit! He's so good at relating to the content. I never see it coming.
妈的！他真是太会联想内容了。我完全没预料到。
21 赞2017/12/12
NINETEEN NINETY EIGHT WTF
一九九八年，我勒个去！
149 赞2017/12/12
I just stumbled across a post within a minute of it being posted. I feel like I've won the Reddit lottery. Bamboozled!
我刚刷到一条 的帖子，离发布才过了一分钟。感觉自己像是中了 Reddit 的彩票一样。被耍啦！
31 赞2017/12/12
As soon as I read the word "nineteen" I knew I had been had.
我一读到“一九”这两个字，就知道我中招了。
39 赞2017/12/12
His smiling because he planted 421 of those and the cops found one.
他在那儿偷着乐呢，因为他种了421棵那玩意儿，结果警察只搜出来一棵。
5,041 赞2017/12/12
From the smile I’m guessing it was a state on the West coast, and not the deep South...
看这笑容，我猜这事儿肯定发生在西海岸的某个州，而不是南方的腹地……
3,750 赞2017/12/12
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770 赞2017/12/12
Sure it wasn't in Reno? Looks like Lt. Dangle.
确定不是在里诺？这长得也太像《雷诺911》里的丹格尔中尉了。
262 赞2017/12/12
No short shorts tho
不过别穿太短的短裤。
95 赞2017/12/12
Plum-smugglers
紧身小裤衩。
31 赞2017/12/12
Somebody Photoshop this, please.
有哪位大神能给P个图吗，求求了。
91 赞2017/12/12
I know Cali has been long known for good weed and what not, but have they always been so lenient? Has it always been that the south was the ones who were much more strict? As a fellow Canadian I've always known the US to be extremely strict on weed until recent years.
我知道加州一直以大麻品质好什么的闻名，但他们一直都这么宽松吗？难道一直以来都是南方州管得更严？作为一个加拿大人，我印象里美国在近几年之前对大麻一直都是管控极严的。
180 赞2017/12/12
I think your local jurisdiction and individual circumstances would play a very important part in how serious that arrest would be. California is pretty big, and has some parts that are pretty conservative, *much* more so in the '70s. White teenager in Marin County? Not a huge deal. (I still wouldn't be smiling about it though) Probably a fine, community service or probation depending on your legal resources. Latino in Bakersfield with a public defender? Probably jail time.
我觉得具体的司法管辖区和个人情况，对你被捕后的后果严重程度有着至关重要的影响。加州地盘很大，有些地方还是挺保守的，尤其是在70年代，那种保守程度简直离谱。
如果你是在马林县的白人少年？那问题不大。（不过我建议你最好还是别在那儿嬉皮笑脸的）。大概也就是交个罚款、做做社区服务，或者判个缓刑，具体看你请的律师给力不给力了。
如果你是在贝克斯菲尔德的拉丁裔，还只能用公派律师？那大概率得蹲监狱。
58 赞2017/12/12
Good old Kern County. A little slice of the South right in our own backyard.
熟悉的克恩县。就在我们自家后院里的一小片“南方缩影”啊。
22 赞2017/12/12
Yeah California decriminalized in 1975, medical in 1996, and recreational in a couple weeks.
没错，加州在1975年就将大麻非刑事化了，1996年医用合法化，过两周娱乐用也要合法了。
24 赞2017/12/12
Hah, I’m reading this from Huntington Beach right now. Funny because the local PD here shuts down every storefront dispensary that opens up. HB is not friendly with weed, and it appears it never has been.
哈，我现在就在亨廷顿海滩（Huntington Beach）看这条评论呢。挺逗的，因为这儿的本地警局见一家大麻店开一家就封一家。HB这地方对大麻一点都不友好，看来一直都是这样。
677 赞2017/12/12
West coast, best coast.
西海岸，最吊海岸。
2,750 赞2017/12/11
Plot twist, uncle is on the right.
剧情反转，叔叔在右边。
971 赞2017/12/12
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282 赞2017/12/12
I CBD what you did there
我 CBD（看懂）了你刚才那波操作。
（注：此处利用 CBD 的谐音“See B-D”意为“See what you did”，保留了原句的俏皮感。）
105 赞2017/12/12
I THC what YOU did there
我 THC（看懂）了你那波操作。
（注：此处利用 THC 的谐音“T-H-C”意为“T-H-C（See）what you did”，与前文的梗形成对应。）
2,113 赞2017/12/11
He seems happy about it
他看起来对此挺乐呵的。
1,997 赞2017/12/11
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595 赞2017/12/12
... and that's how I met your father.
……而我就是这么遇见你爸的。
317 赞2017/12/12
“He was a straight laced, no nonsense officer of the law... and he was just a free wheelin’ young man with a knack for growing grass. But now they’re taking on... **RECORD SCRATCH** ...FATHERHOOD?? *Coming this fall on ABC, watch as this odd couple puts down the joint and badge to raise OP in...* *California Dads!*
“他是个循规蹈矩、一丝不苟的执法人员……而他是个放荡不羁、特别擅长种草（大麻）的年轻人。但现在他们居然要挑战…… **（唱片刮擦声）** ……当爹？？
*今年秋季锁定ABC频道，看这对活宝如何放下大麻和警徽，去养育他们的后代，尽在……*
*《加州老爹》！*
43 赞2017/12/12
Adam Sandler is The Law, &
Adam Sandler is the DUUUUDE
Adam Sandler is the Mar-uh-wanna! Ow!
亚当·桑德勒就是王法，而且
亚当·桑德勒就是那个真·狠人
亚当·桑德勒就是那大麻！嗷！
22 赞2017/12/12
With the surrogate Rob Schneider!
还有他那代理人罗伯·施奈德！
179 赞2017/12/12
Because he's not getting 5 years in prison for cultivation because it's the 70's.
因为在70年代，他可不会因为种点大麻就得去蹲5年苦窑。
235 赞2017/12/12
He’s thinking of that sweet karma-to-come 40 years down the track.
他估计是在想40年后能拿到的那份“终极福报”吧。
1,802 赞2017/12/12
He looks delighted.
他看起来美滋滋的。
636 赞2017/12/12
Perhaps a bit high?
怕不是嗑高了吧？
269 赞2017/12/12
little bit oof both
多少有点这两者的意思。
151 赞2017/12/12
Ouch owie
91 赞2017/12/12
My bones
1,664 赞2017/12/12
"But officer, it's just oregano"
“警官，那真的只是牛至叶（披萨草）啊。”
338 赞2017/12/12
that shit couldn't get a fly high
那玩意儿连只苍蝇都搞不出幻觉来。
123 赞2017/12/12
No, but thankfully it has wings.
不，但谢天谢地它有翅膀。
878 赞2017/12/12
Anyone else think the cop looks baked off his ass as well?
有没有人也觉得那警察看起来像嗨大了一样？
185 赞2017/12/12
baked as in baked in a tanning bed? yup!
所谓的“嗨大了”是指在美黑机里烤过头了吗？没错，就是那样！
79 赞2017/12/12
"You boys like mexico?"
“你们这帮小子喜欢墨西哥吗？”
729 赞2017/12/12
Cop's holding it like a flower bouquet for his wife
那警察拿着它的样子，简直就像是在给老婆捧花束似的。
146 赞2017/12/12
Ah if only my hubby would find me a bouquet this glorious!
啊，要是我的老公也能给我找来这么绝的花束就好了！
644 赞2017/12/12
Back when cops dressed like Barney Fife not Animal Mother.
想当年警察穿得还像巴尼·法伊夫（Barney Fife）那样，而不是像“兽母”（Animal Mother）一样。
145 赞2017/12/12
I laughed loud enough to disrupt a safety meeting. Worth it.
我笑得太大声，把安全会议都给打断了。值了。
35 赞2017/12/12
Construction?
建筑工地？
47 赞2017/12/12
Heavy industry.
重工业。
26 赞2017/12/12
He obviously parked his APC just outside of the frame.
他显然把他的装甲运兵车就停在画面外面。
563 赞2017/12/12
Haha this reminds me of my late Uncle. He had his fair share of run-ins with the law (non-violent offenses) and so he was known to the local police department. On one occasion he has being arrested for drunk in public at a gas station. The officer had already handcuffed him and was putting him in the back of the cruiser. When he bent down to get into the car, a little baggie of weed fell out of his shirt pocket. The cop picked it up and said, "well what is this, Randy?" My uncle said, "hell I don't know, it looks like you must've dropped something, officer!" Another story my grandma likes to tell: Uncle was growing a marijuana plant in my grandmas planter. Grandma had unknowingly been watering his pot plant daily for months. When the fruit finally grew, she caught him loading it into the back of his truck. "Where are you taking that?" She asked. "I'm taking my pot," he said. "I'll bring your pot back."
哈哈，这让我想起了我已故的叔叔。他也没少跟警察打交道（非暴力犯罪），所以当地警局都认识他。
有一次，他因为在加油站酒驾被捕。警察已经给他戴上手铐，正要把他塞进警车的后座。当他弯下腰准备上车时，一个小包的草（大麻）从他的衬衫口袋里掉了出来。警察捡起来说：“嘿，这是什么，兰迪？”
我叔叔说：“我去，我不知道，看起来像是你丢了什么东西，警官！”
我奶奶还喜欢讲另一个故事：
我叔叔在我奶奶的花盆里种了一棵大麻。奶奶好几个月都不知道，还每天给他的“盆栽”浇水。等到“结果”了，她看见他正把它装进卡车后面。“你要把那玩意儿弄哪儿去？”她问。
“我要带走我的‘盆栽’，”他说。“我会把你的‘盆栽’带回来。”
198 赞2017/12/12
When my uncle was 15 he was left to look after my 8 year old mother for the weekend. When my grandparents came home early an found his dope plant on the table and they started to chew him out his only defence was “Why didn’t you ask my sister if it was hers?”
我舅舅15岁那年，被留下来看管当时8岁的我妈，度过一个周末。后来我外公外婆提前回家，发现桌上有棵大麻，就开始对他狂喷一顿，结果他唯一的辩解就是：“你们怎么不问问我妹，那是不是她的？”
67 赞2017/12/12
No stories to tell, just kinda realizing that I'm that Uncle
没什么故事好讲，就是突然意识到，我特么就是那个舅舅。
80 赞2017/12/12
My dad has a fairly similar story about his older brother, Scott. While my dad was still in high school and living at home with his parents, my uncle came home from college for a weekend visit and planted some pot along the back fence of my grandparents' backyard under the guise of a mother's day gift. Apparently, my grandma absolutely cherished the pot plants and doted on them religiously. At the end of the summer, when the plants were easily taller than the six-foot fence, my uncle showed up in the middle of the night and snatched up all of the plants.
我爸也有个关于他哥哥斯科特（Scott）的类似故事。我爸还在念高中跟父母住的时候，我大伯从大学回来待了个周末，打着母亲节礼物的幌子，在我外公外婆后院的篱笆边种了些大麻。结果我外婆居然把那些大麻当宝贝一样，每天虔诚地伺候着。到了夏天快结束时，那些大麻都长得比六英尺高的篱笆还高了，我大伯半夜摸回来，把那些植株全给顺走了。
38 赞2017/12/12
:( Hope me gave gramma a real mother's day gift later.
:( 希望我之后有给奶奶送上一份真正的母亲节礼物。
31 赞2017/12/12
Yeah that's pretty selfish to plant something illegal in your parent's yard without their knowledge, let it grow so that its easily visible to neighbors, then steal it back... the fact that he posed it as a gift is just extra rude.
是啊，在父母不知情的情况下在他们院子里种违禁品，种到邻居一眼就能看到，然后再把它偷回来……这真的太自私了，而且他居然还厚着脸皮说是送的礼物，简直是缺德到家了。
422 赞2017/12/12
I graduated in ‘81. Only dabbled in weed (back then) and I remember getting these tiny little joints already rolled up, in hot pink paper, for $1.00 each. Two hits and I’d be stoned off my ass. But those weren’t the good old days. Now is the good old days, with my Cali SIL that sends me refills for my weedpen. It’s just freaking awesome. Now it takes three hits. But heck, it’s been almost 40 years since high school!
我是81年毕业的。那时候我只是偶尔抽抽大麻，还记得当时买的都是那种卷好的超小支大麻烟，用亮粉色的纸包着，只要1美元一根。抽上两口我就能嗨到飞起。不过那可算不上什么“黄金时代”。现在才是黄金时代，多亏了我加州的小姨子/弟媳，总给我寄大麻笔的补充液。简直太爽了。现在（抽两口）得抽个三口才有感觉。但说真的，毕竟距离高中毕业都快40年了嘛！
84 赞2017/12/12
I like your style
我挺喜欢你的风格。
218 赞2017/12/12
back then in NYC, you could smoke weed in public no problem. once, in the 80s, my buddy and i walked from the metropolitan museum of art all the way down fifth avenue smoking joint after joint until we got to houston. that's miles, right through midtown, right in the middle of the day, with crowded streets and people everywhere. funny thing is, after three decades of repression, nowadays everywhere i go i see people smoking weed again. in the parks, on the streets of manhattan, everywhere, just like i did in the late 70s/80s. what was the fucking point of the whole goddamn thing, then?
想当年在纽约，在公共场合抽大麻根本不是事儿。有回是80年代，我和哥们儿从大都会艺术博物馆一路顺着第五大道走，边走边抽，一根接一根，一直抽到休斯顿街。那可是好几英里路，穿过整个曼哈顿中城，还是大白天，大街上人挤人，到处都是人。
有意思的是，经过了三十年的高压管控，现在我走到哪儿又都能看见人抽大麻了。公园里、曼哈顿街头，到处都是，就像我在70年代末80年代那会儿一样。
那他妈折腾这么一大通到底是为了个啥？
206 赞2017/12/12
> what was the fucking point of the whole goddamn thing, then? $$$ and militarization of police.
> 那他妈折腾这么一大通到底是为了个啥？
为了钱，还有警察的军事化。
135 赞2017/12/12
The Nixon administration wanted to label blacks as heroin users and to associate weed with hippies, so they came down hard on them because they seen them as enemies of their administration. A former Nixon advisor is the one that said this, not me or some internet conspiracy theorist. There is a lot of information about it online. It’s an interesting read.
尼克松政府当时想把黑人打上“海洛因吸食者”的标签，再把大麻和嬉皮士挂钩，所以他们对这些人重拳出击，因为在他们眼里，这些人都是政府的敌人。这话可不是我说的，也不是什么网上搞阴谋论的人说的，而是一位尼克松的前顾问亲口爆出来的。网上关于这事的料多得很，读起来挺有意思的。
106 赞2017/12/12
Fear and control. And prisons. And black people.
恐惧与控制。还有监狱。以及针对黑人。
20 赞2017/12/12
To get votes originally, a good tactic to get votes politically is to make up an enemy then tell everyone that you're going to destroy it. So one time that enemy was weed and other drugs and they said they were going to destroy it with force before it kills your kids or some BS. It also had racist incentives as black people and poor people were more likely to do drugs so it meant they got to lock them up essentially re-enslaving them. It then continued because of money, since private prison companies make bank off it and so does the government since prisoners are cheap labour. Also you got stupid people who genuinely believe still that weed is the devil because Nixon said so or some BS.
说到底，为了选票嘛，搞政治最常用的损招就是先捏造个假想敌，然后告诉大家你会把这玩意儿彻底铲除。当年他们就把大麻和其他毒品当成了那个假想敌，吹嘘说要在这些东西毒害你家孩子之前，用强力手段把它们消灭干净，纯属扯淡。这背后还有种族歧视的动机，因为黑人和穷人更容易沾上毒品，所以这就意味着政府可以名正言顺地把他们关起来，本质上就是变相奴役。
后来这事儿之所以一直没停，是因为有利可图。私营监狱公司靠这个赚得盆满钵满，政府也跟着发财，毕竟囚犯可是廉价劳动力。而且总有些蠢货到现在还真信大麻就是魔鬼，就因为尼克松当年那么说过，简直一派胡言。
333 赞2017/12/12
Looks like these two had a laugh and then smoked together right afterwards.
看样子这俩货刚才还乐呵着呢，转头就一起抽上了。
163 赞2017/12/12
My neighbor injected 7 marijuanas and died. Very dangerous drugged.
我邻居注射了7份大麻，然后就挂了。
这玩意儿毒性太强了。
19 赞2017/12/12
Did his veins rupture from shoving plants into them?
他是往血管里硬塞植物，结果血管爆裂了吗？
152 赞2017/12/12
His smile is like it happens all the time Your uncle “Awe damn, you got me this week Joe.” Joe “Don’t beat yourself up over it, that 13 year old you sold to ratted you out.”
他那笑容就好像这种事对他来说是家常便饭。
你叔叔：“该死，Joe，这周被你逮着了。”
Joe：“别自责了，那个被你卖了的13岁小屁孩把你供出来了。”
134 赞2017/12/12
That shit eatin' grin tells me there's more where that came from.
他那副贱兮兮的笑脸告诉我，后面还有更多好戏看呢。
29 赞2017/12/15
You got that right!
你说得太对了！
126 赞2017/12/12
The cops looks pretty stoned lol
警察看起来嗨大发了，笑死。
171 赞2017/12/12
Well, yeah... do you see all of that weed he’s holding?!
那可不……你没看见他手里拿着的那一大堆大麻吗？！
53 赞2017/12/12
That's what happens when you don't wear gloves.
这就是不戴手套的下场。
78 赞2017/12/12
That cop seems to have lost his body armor
那警察好像没穿防弹衣。
79 赞2017/12/12
1970s body armor could hardly stop a 380. Kevlar wasn't that great back in the day. Supplemented with a steel plate that might as well be a steel can, and you have yourself a waste of money.
70年代的防弹衣连.380口径的小手枪都挡不住。
那时候的凯夫拉（Kevlar）技术也就那样。再塞块钢板，跟个铁皮罐头没啥两样，纯属浪费钱。
72 赞2017/12/12
Lieutenant Dangle must have been washing his shorts that day.
看来丹格中尉（Lieutenant Dangle）那天是把他的短裤拿去洗了。
63 赞2017/12/12
Cop looks stoned too. Cameras showed up and he said “Just put your hands behind your back I’ll hold the weed”. “Trust me. Works every time.”
警察看起来也嗑高了。摄像机一出来，他就说：“把手背过去就行，大麻我帮你拿着。”
“相信我，回回都管用。”
56 赞2017/12/12
"Boys will be boys; let him go, chief"
“小屁孩嘛，调皮点正常；放他走吧，长官。”
51 赞2017/12/12
So...what happened? A fine? Let go? Cop did the old "we seized one plant, and after weighing the 4 ounces we found that it yielded 10 grams of smokable plant, of which the 2 grams were useable and sealed in the evidence locker with a label of "0.5 grams - evidence"? Or the WE PREVENTED 100000 MILLION CHILDREN FROM THE EVILS OF MARIJUANA THIS HAS A STREET VALUE OF SIXTY BAJILLION DOLLARS AND THE KINGPIN IS NOW IN A HOLE FOREVER."?
所以……后来咋样了？罚款？放人了？警察是不是搞了那套经典操作：“我们缴获了一株植物，称重4盎司后发现能抽的只有10克，其中2克可用，最后封存进证物柜时贴了个标签写着‘0.5克 - 证物’”？还是那种“我们从大麻的魔爪中拯救了十万亿名儿童，这批货黑市价值六十兆亿美金，那个毒枭现在已经被永远关进小黑屋了”的套路？
17 赞2017/12/15
That's too funny! After spending less than one hour at the H.B. city jail, released on an O.R. with instructions to appear in about two weeks at the Orange County court house in the city of Westminster, armed with nothing more than a Public Defender, the charges were officially dropped...
Two weeks later my request for copies of the arrest pics were sent to me...
笑死我了！
在亨廷顿海滩（H.B.）市拘留所待了不到一小时，我就被无保释放了（O.R.），还被告知两周后要去威斯敏斯特市的橙县法院报到。当时我身边除了个公派律师啥也没有，结果指控直接撤销了……
两周后，我申请的逮捕照片复印件就寄到我手上了……
50 赞2017/12/11
what a legend
真乃神人也。