我的曾祖父母，不幸作为私刑受害者被记住
我的曾祖父母，遗憾的是，人们对他们的印象是虚荣且痴迷于外表
评论 (32)
Callme-risley184 赞2024/1/25
My grandfather, Al Jr, doesn’t have many nice things to say about his parents. His mother, Dorothy, was horrendously critical of his appearance and constantly reminded him that he was too heavy, had too round a face, his thighs were too big, but somehow his arms were too scrawny. She was known for wearing mostly costume jewelry with one or two real pieces, but pompously passing them all off as real to anyone who asked. She hated my grandfather’s college girlfriend, Sandra (my grandmother) because she was from a family of tradesmen who, although they did very well for themselves financially, were not of a suitable social class, according to Dorothy. His father, Al Sr, was distant, emotionally neglectful, and when my grandfather and Sandra fell pregnant (with my mother) Al Sr conspired with Sandra’s parents to have her removed from school and sent to an unwed mother’s home. According to Al Jr, he sent Sandra dozens of letters while she was away, asking about her health, asking about the baby, asking about their future together. He never received a response. According to Sandra, she never received any of those letters and thought Al Jr had abandoned her. Sandra had the baby (my mother) and gave her up for adoption. She never returned to school, but married a wealthy family friend and raised three children with him. Al Jr married a woman his mother approved of, from the “right” kind of family, and also had three children with her. 50+ years down the line, my mother tracked them both down through ancestry research and our families were reunited. Sandra and her family welcomed us with open arms. She had always been open about her first baby with her other children, and always said she hoped to find her one day. Al Jr also welcomed us, but he hadn’t been as transparent with his family. For over two years, he delayed telling them that their half-sister and two half-nieces (myself and my sister) had reappeared. He was humiliated that he had fathered a baby out of wedlock and worried that his highly religious children would think less of him. In the end, he did tell them about us. And he was right. They wanted nothing to do with us, and they judged him harshly, saying they were ashamed of him. Their relationships were fractured, and remain so to this day. Unfortunately, our family drama doesn’t have an entirely happy ending, but as the meme goes… *the horrors persist, but so do we.* **Edit: To the people accusing me of stealing my own family's photo and story - last year's post from is also me. is my old account, which was suspended for suspected spam. (It wasn't spam, I was just on a 13 hour layover and spent the whole time shitposting on a gossip sub. Disappointing to lose an account I had used for over a decade, but what can you do...)** **For those interested, I posted an additional collage showing the family line down from Al Sr and Dorothy's union on my profile.**
我爷爷小阿尔（Al Jr）对他父母可没什么好话。他妈多萝西（Dorothy）对他外貌的挑剔简直到了极点，老是提醒他太胖、脸太圆、大腿太粗，可不知怎么着又说他胳膊瘦得像根柴。她这人挺出名，平时戴的一堆首饰里大多是廉价的仿制品，也就一两件真货，可她居然在那儿虚荣地吹嘘，管谁问起来都说是真的。她特讨厌我爷爷大学时的女朋友桑德拉（Sandra，也就是我奶奶），因为桑德拉家里是做手艺活儿出身的，虽然人家经济条件相当不错，但在多萝西眼里，那阶层就是“上不了台面”。
他爸老阿尔（Al Sr）则特别疏离，情感上几乎不管不顾。后来我爷爷和桑德拉有了孩子（也就是我妈），老阿尔居然联合桑德拉的父母，强行让她退学，把她送到了未婚妈妈收容所。据小阿尔说，那期间他给桑德拉寄了几十封信，问她身体怎么样，问孩子好不好，还问他们俩的未来。但他一封回信都没收到。而据桑德拉说，她压根儿就没见过那些信，还以为是小阿尔把她给甩了。
桑德拉生下了孩子（我妈）并送人领养了。她没能回到学校，而是嫁给了一个富有的家族朋友，和他一起养育了三个孩子。小阿尔娶了一个他妈认可的女人，出身于所谓的“正统”家庭，也和她生了三个孩子。
50多年过去了，我妈通过祖源调查找到了他们俩，我们两家得以重聚。桑德拉和她的家人们张开双臂欢迎了我们。她一直对自己那第一个孩子的事儿挺坦诚的，也跟其他孩子说起过，一直希望能有朝一日找到她。
小阿尔也欢迎了我们，但他对他那边的家人就没那么坦白了。在那两年多的时间里，他一直拖着没敢告诉他们，说他们多出了一个同父异母的姐姐和两个外甥女（就是我和我姐）。他觉得有个婚外私生女这事儿特别丢人，担心他那些信教信得入迷的孩子会看不起他。
最终，他还是跟他们说了我们的事儿。结果他果然没猜错。他们根本不想跟我们扯上关系，还对他各种严厉指责，说对他感到羞耻。他们的亲子关系因此破裂，至今也没能修复。
不幸的是，我们的家族狗血剧并没有迎来一个圆满的大结局，但就像那个梗说的……*恐怖依旧存在，但我们依然顽强活着。*
**编辑：对于那些指控我偷了我自己家族照片和故事的人——去年发在 上的那个帖子也是我。 是我的旧账号，因为被怀疑发垃圾信息被封了。（那根本不是垃圾信息，当时我正在经历13个小时的转机等待，整个过程都在八卦版块里灌水发烂梗。用了十多年的账号就这么没了挺遗憾的，但能怎么办呢……）**
**感兴趣的朋友可以去我个人资料页看看，我发了一个额外的拼贴图，展示了从老阿尔和多萝西那一脉下来的家族谱系。**
ritchfld57 赞2024/1/25
"His highly religious children" have a lot to learn. Cast the first stone certainly applies.
“他那些信教信得入迷的孩子们”还有得学呢。那句“谁没罪，谁就先投石子儿吧”在这儿可真是再适用不过了。
travelingtutor20 赞2024/1/25
It's always the overt ones who are the most repugnant.
果然，最令人作呕的永远是那些表面一套背后一套的伪君子。
CarefulConfection50426 赞2024/1/25
Thank you for sharing. As I was reading, my heart broke for Sandra, Al, Jr. and your mother. It just goes to show that no matter how attractive or happy folks look in these old photographs, we may never know the true story behind their smiles.
感谢分享。读的时候，想到Sandra、Al、Jr.和你母亲的遭遇，我心都碎了。
这正好说明，无论这些老照片里的人看起来多迷人或多快乐，我们永远无法得知他们笑容背后的真实故事。
travelingtutor19 赞2024/1/25
"Do you want tears? Because this is how you get tears." Your poor grandparents. God, sometimes I hate humans. I hope they had happiness despite their so-called families being such \*\*\*\*s. You could write a book!
“你是想弄哭我吗？因为你真的成功做到了。”
你可怜的祖父母。
天哪，有时候我真讨厌人类。希望他们即便有那样所谓的家人当“混蛋”，也依然拥有过幸福。
你完全可以写本书！
darklordskarn16 赞2024/1/25
Sounds like you gained a good family from Sandra’s line at least
听起来至少在Sandra那一脉，你还是收获了一个不错的家庭。
Callme-risley16 赞2024/1/26
We certainly did. They have their issues, as we all do, but they are good people and didn’t hesitate for a second to accept us as family. Meeting them partially changed my opinion on nature vs. nurture as well, because it is shocking how similar we all are in personality, interests, senses of humor, etc without having ever met each other before 2018.
我们确实做到了。他们是有自己的问题，谁还没点儿毛病呢，但他们人很好，而且二话没说就把我们当成一家人了。
见到他们之后，我对“先天与后天”的看法也发生了一些改变，因为太震撼了——我们居然在性格、兴趣、幽默感等方面如此相像，要知道在2018年之前我们可是从来没见过面。
46 赞2024/1/26
Yes, they seriously look like movie stars, or models. I think the posing is cute. I'm sure there were some angry jealous people. Especially in those days with no gyms or plastic surgery.
是啊，他们长得简直像电影明星或者模特。我觉得那个摆拍姿势还挺可爱的。肯定有一些气急败坏的红眼病患者。尤其是在那个连健身房和整容手术都没有的年代。
46 赞2024/1/25
Known as vain and image obsessed could merely mean others called them that because they were jealous of this extremely attractive couple.
说他们虚荣、沉迷于形象，可能仅仅是因为其他人嫉妒这对超高颜值的情侣，才故意给他们贴上这种标签吧。
55 赞2024/1/25
It surprises me how many people have responded along these lines, clearly without having read the top comment. It’s an interesting insight into how people subconsciously tend to want to think the best of attractive people, regardless of their actual character.
居然有这么多人持这种论调，简直让我惊呆了，很明显他们根本就没看高赞评论。
这反映出一个挺有意思的现象，人们在潜意识里总倾向于把好看的人往好处想，压根儿不管他们人品到底咋样。
32 赞2024/1/25
They were movie star material.
他们这长相不去当电影明星真是可惜了。
27 赞2024/1/25
Uh, some people have good reason to be vain. Beautiful couple.
呃，有些人确实有资本自负。这对儿长得真绝。
25 赞2024/1/26
They probably think this post is about them
他们大概以为这篇帖子是在说他们吧。
24 赞2024/1/26
They would have loved social media and social media would have loved them back.
他们要是还在的话，肯定会爱死社交媒体，社交媒体也绝对会反过来宠着他们。
24 赞2024/1/25
Beefcake entre with a Cheescake dessert.
主菜是猛男，甜点是秀色可餐的美人。
24 赞2024/1/25
I mean they were hot so why not remember it while it lasted! 😂😂
我的意思是，他们当时长得确实好看，所以趁着还没过气留个念想怎么了！😂😂
24 赞2024/1/26
"Remembered for being vain and image-obsessed" Aah, ahead of their time, tho. How many sets of engagement photos did I see on Facebook that looked exactly like this, usually taken by somebody's amateur photographer friend.
“因为爱慕虚荣和沉迷形象被记住”
啊，不过说真的，他们确实走在时代前沿了。我在脸书上看到过多少组订婚照长得跟这一模一样啊，通常还是找什么业余摄影师朋友拍的。
24 赞2024/1/26
If I was your grandpa, I’d be vain too
如果我是你爷爷，我肯定也一样爱臭美。
23 赞2024/1/26
That’s just what a salty ugly sibling said
这话一听就是个酸溜溜的丑八怪兄弟姐妹说的。
22 赞2024/1/25
Well, I mean... They look like movie stars! 🥰
嗯，我是说……他们看起来简直像电影明星一样！🥰
21 赞2024/1/26
So they were instagrammers?
所以他们是网红（Instagram用户）吗？
21 赞2024/1/25
Imagine what later generations will say about all the wannabes of now.
想象一下，后人会怎么评价现在这些装模作样的“伪人”。
20 赞2024/1/26
They’re sexy though, so I guess you can’t blame them too much.
不过他们确实挺带感的，所以我觉得也不能全怪他们。
19 赞2024/1/25
They’d be tik tok influencers today. They look like they will burst out into song—OKLAHOMA where the wind goes sweeping down the plain🎶
要是搁现在，他们绝对是TikTok网红。看起来随时随地都能冷不丁唱上一段——“俄克拉荷马，那里的风正扫过平原🎶”
19 赞2024/1/26
The influencers before we had influencers.
在我们拥有所谓的“网红”之前，她们就已经算网红鼻祖了。
19 赞2024/1/25
I mean, they were both hot as hell, so I can’t blame them too much.
我是说，她俩都辣得要命，所以我根本没法怪她们（怎么做）。
19 赞2024/1/25
What a beautiful couple…
多登对的一对啊……
18 赞2024/1/25
Truth in the headline, love it. Usually it’s some long loved somebody; but today it’s vain and obsessed. 🥂
标题大实话，爱了。
通常这种标题讲的都是些大家爱戴的人物；但今天这位嘛，既虚荣又自恋。🥂
18 赞2024/1/26
If I looked like either one of them, I'd be obsessed with myself too.
如果我也长得像她们俩其中任何一个，我肯定也会沉迷于自己的美貌无法自拔。
18 赞2024/1/26
Well...just look at em! If I ever looked that good I'd want as much evidence as possible.
哎呀……你看看她们！我要是能长成那样，我也会想留下尽可能多的照片作为证据。
18 赞2024/1/25
Well I can see why, they fine af damn.
我懂了，怪不得，她们简直太正了，我的天。
18 赞2024/1/25
They were ahead of their time
她们那会儿真是走在时代前沿了。